Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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