I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
