I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
