Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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