If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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