walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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