no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize