sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
