I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
