She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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