My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
