went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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