Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
