i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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