So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
