Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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