omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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