Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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