Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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