I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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