i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
