Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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