well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
