He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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