Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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