I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
