the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize