her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
