just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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