you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She even gives head with a lisp.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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