we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize