You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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