brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you would pick up someone in the library
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
