WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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