I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
