She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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