..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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