Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
