all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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