oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
