It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize