hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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