i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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