my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize