It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I had to cum in my sink.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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