my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
