my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
