Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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