We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
