no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
