our cab driver is having phone sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
