i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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