she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
