Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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