Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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