just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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