I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
