You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize