I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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