Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize