thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
