the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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