Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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