Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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