her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
