We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
